Last night my wife stated that she needed the divorce to move on. I asked her to stay seperated instead, until I can prove my change. She walked out on me after that conversation.
She says she cannot trust me. She says that I lied to her about our finances. She says she needs closure. I do not need closure. I need an opening, a ray of hope. I've told her this, but I don't know if she understands.
After she left, I drove home crying the entire way. I spent the next 3 hours composing important paperwork. I wrote my will, I wrote a letter to my daughter to given on her 18th birthday, I wrote a letter to my son to given on his 18th birthday, and I wrote my last letter to my wife.
I do not know if I will give these to her. I have put my faith in her and God. While God challenges all of us to listen, I don't know if my wife is listening. I truthfully believe that I am supposed to have this pain of seperation: To truely understand what I have to lose if I do not change. I do not know if I will survive being completely cutoff. My heart and soul cannot handle it.
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